50 pounds of weight loss!

I'm happy to announce that I have lost 50 pounds!
First I lost five pounds. Then I gained five pounds, but then, again, I lost five pounds ...
Gained five...
Lost five...
Gained five...
Lost five...
Gained five ...
You get the picture, right?

All together I must have lost at least 50 pounds and so far I have totally blown this diet thing. My losing 50 pounds (at one time) is as likely as finding Osama Bin Laden. (Were still trying to do that, right?)

I'm learning though. For example, I've learned that five chicken nuggets from Wendy's will gain me one pound and five sessions of daily exercise will keep my weight steady. I've also learned that smelling doughnuts is almost as good as eating them and that it's rude if said doughnut is in your co-worker's hand.

When I see people around town they always ask me how the diet is going, which I can't figure out. I mean, you're looking at me. What do you think?

Really I appreciate the interest. The other day I told a "friend" that I felt bad about letting readers down and not losing much weight in such a long time. It was pointed out to me that perhaps people are enjoying my NOT losing weight more anyway. True. I myself love it when other people fail. It builds up my self-esteem.

Weight, however, has been lost. On the other hand so has humility and pride, but it's a trade off I signed up for.

Since I've begun my weight loss humiliation, I've actually lost a total of 10 pounds - most of it from my chest.

But my body is stronger - which will be good for when I invariably weigh much more than I do now.

I get in about 30 minutes of exercise most days and my body is looking better, if not smaller. I have a dream where one day I shed my fat outer shell and underneath a firm, trim, sexy body is revealed. Then I wake up and I'm smashing my scale against the refrigerator again.

Some Good Advice

A friend sent me a version of the following in a chain email about getting older and maybe a little wider ;) It reminded me of something my Grandma would have said.

The email said I was supposed to send it to seven people, but I’ll just give it to you here instead. It eases that ever-present fear of “getting old.” It encourages me to strive for a little less seriousness and little more joy. I hope the same for you. …

"I would never trade my amazing friends, wonderful life, or loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love..... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? Broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think... I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it)."

Photo: My Grandma. The greatest Grandma that ever lived.