Honest A?

Is honesty always the best policy?

The other day I was chatting with my "friend" about how difficult it is to lose weight. I was babbling on about how often I exercise, how many times a day I forgo much of the food I would like to eat, blah, blah, blah.

"Just think about how fat you would be if you didn't all of those things," she said. "It could be worse."

Read: My ass could be as wide as the Great Wall of China right now.

So, while the whole weight loss bit isn't paying off in smaller clothing sizes - yet (WhyGodwhy??) I'm taking comfort in my regular level of fatness.

It could be worse, much worse.

Hallodaze

I stare at the bowl of Halloween candy 87 times a day. It’s almost empty. You and I both know who ate the candy. Let’s not pretend. Let’s not talk about it either.

I’m glad the bowl is almost empty, so I won’t have to worry about it anymore. My candy eating has become so robotic I don't even realize I'm doing it. Reach into bowl, unwrap, imbibe. Yum. Repeat.

Now, I have to learn how to kick this sweet addiction.

Then I look at the calendar, it’s almost Thanksgiving.

Sigh.

I love pumpkin pie. I have promised myself to only eat one piece – at a time. Today I had a conversation about pumpkin pie and if you overheard it you'd think I was talking about a lover.
That may not, however, be the worst of my problems. After Thanksgiving everyone really starts baking.

Sigh.

Why would anyone even want to try and resist baked goods? Yum. What's so great about being skinny anyway? I'll never know.

Once the holidays are over it will be a new year and time for another resolution.

I already know what mine is: Learn to love being PHAT.

Sigh.

Fat Farm

I feel like I live on a fat farm.

I joined the Heritage Biggest Loser weight loss group at work. It's a bunch of people trying to lose weight and win $50. I'm only in it for the $50.

The person who loses the most weight wins. Simple. Impossible. I can't even lose the most weight when I'm the only person in the contest.

There are a lot of people around the office now paying attention to what the others are doing and eating. I'm glad it's not just me anymore - both paying attention to others and having attention paid to me because of this blog.

The group also helps with some of the conversations.

Before they started, every time anyone had anything to say about diets, exercise, food, being fat, being skinny, writing a blog, trying to lose weight, gain weight, walking on the moon, cooking tacos, or speaking Chinese they would come to me. Now they have other people to bounce off of. Hell, they should bounce off of each other, all that extra fat has to be good for something.

The weigh-in was on Monday and on that day I did not eat the MnMs when I wanted to - being in the group helped me all 22 times I reached for that candy. Since Tuesday I haven't cared as much. I've eaten a mini Milky Way and the MnMs.

I wonder if they'll give me back the $5 I paid to join if I get out before Friday? There's no way I'm going to win, or lose (weight).