Guess who's back? My fat ass.

So ...

This is a fair representation of what I'd look like in a bathing suit.

This reminds me of a song, "So here we are again ... I guess it must be fate..."

Yeah. If I had to give advice to people who have lost weight and want to keep it off it would be to do the opposite of what I did. 

"I'll never eat like that again! I can't believe I ever did! I'm a changed person now, I'll never gain the weight back," said stupid me three years ago. 

... Well here I am four years and 20 pounds heavier (Shoves cookie down throat in despair). Slooow clap. I started noticing the gain this past year - it's been, as my mother would say, "a doozie." I confused chocolate cake with therapy, apparently. 

I don't know how it happened. ... I know exactly how it happened. A lot of reasons and one simple reason. I stopped counting calories. I thought I could self monitor and "guesstimate" the calories going into my mouth. Nope. Nada. No way, Jose. Clearly, I've been deeply underestimating my calories and my love of fresh pastries. 

Last night I sat on the couch to write with an unopened bag of Pepperidge Farm Double Chocolate Milanos. One hour later I reached into the bag and my hand went halfway down to reach the cookie - it was half empty! I had eaten at least ?? cookies without even realizing it (Grabs gut fat in disgust).

I am not proud of myself. Changes need to be made. Attention must be paid! 

This year, starting right now in the cold hard light of day, I aspire to lose about 40 pounds. Gulp. 

Help me out here: What are some of your weight-loss tricks?