Chocolate Conniption

I'm several days into the stupid diet and it isn’t funny ha-ha anymore.

While sitting at my desk, pretending, for the umpteenth hour to work, all I have thought about is chocolate.

While writing a news story about possible “consolidation” I accidentally typed “chocolate” — What the hell?

There is a vending machine in the hallway that I’m finding myself way more attracted to right now than I ever did either of my former husbands.

My head is aching, my teeth are grinding and my mouth is salivating for a piece of chocolate.

I have an addictive personality; I know this and I accept it. I generally enjoy my addictions, because I just go with the flow of the urges, but not today. Today chocolate must die.

There are those who regard the concept of chocolate addiction as silly, however, studies have shown that chocolate is the most craved food in the world.

Chocolate contains the pleasure compound serotonin - i.e. an anti-depressant, which is exactly what I need right this second.

Actually, I dare anyone who doesn’t believe chocolate is addictive to come over and eat a candy bar in front of me right now. You’ll learn real quickly what it means to be an addict.

There are also studies that show chocolate-eating increases blood flow in the same portions of the brain activated by cocaine, which may be the real reason why some of my non chocolate-loving friends are so damn skinny.

Chocolate’s active ingredient is theobromine, just like the artificially sweetened caffeine drink at my elbow all day long.

Addictive personality — you think? I’m going to smoke a cigarette while you decide.