Wii will hold nothing back

(Note: I wrote this two years ago in June 2008 and haven't lost a pound since.)

I’ve been aggravated by computers plenty of times, but last week was the first time one ever insulted me.

It told me I’m an obese 47-year-old.
I didn’t know which to be more upset about, the obese comment, or the age — I’m barely into my 30’s after all and I’ve always described my figure as pleasantly plump — not obese.

My Managing Editor was shocked too. “I thought you were in your twenties,” she said.
Thanks Mavis.

The worst part is I paid for this. I bought Wii (we) Fit.

Yet, despite its superior attitude and brutal standards, I’m falling in love — just like I did with my ex-husband.

Wii is a video game console made by Nintendo. The difference with Wii, com-pared to traditional video games, is its interactive abilities.

The Wii remote uses Bluetooth technology and infrared detection to sense its position in 3D space. It allows users to control the game using physical gestures as well as button presses.
The Wii Fit is an exercise “game” for the console that comes with a balance board that users stand on, similar to a wide scale, which it also is.

When I first stepped onto the board to begin “playing” the game said, “Oh!”

My 11-year-old daughter thought that was hilarious, until it did the same thing when she stepped on. Oh!

You begin by designing your own character, a mii (me).

This may be the best part; my daughter and I made characters for everyone we could think of.

There are so many options, from dimples to head shape and body type that it’s easy to make them look just like the real person.

My character was an adorable cartoon version of me until I had to enter my height and age and step on the scale to perform a “fitness test.”

A fitness test is a series of balance exercises which results are combined with your age, height and weight.

“Oh! According to my calculations you’re obese!”

My cute little character then became quite a bit rounder and looked down at her hips and rear end in dismay … sort of like me.

“Are you ready to find out your ‘Fit Age?’” It asked enthusiastically.

Not really.

I press ‘OK’ and the anticipation builds with a drumroll before 47 comes on as big as the whole screen in flashy red lights like the sign behind Elvis in the "68 Comeback Special."

A collective sigh of dissapointment was heard from the invisible audience as if I just went bankrupt on the Wheel of Fortune.

“We’ve got some work to do!”

The game has about 40 different activities including yoga, strength training, aerobics, and balance games.

The more you workout and at certain stages, new activities are unlocked to pique interest.

You set your own goals and your “personal trainer” encourages you accordingly. At least, she’s supposed to.

Usually I hear things like, “Maybe that activity isn’t for you,” or “I’ve noticed you’re a little unstable on your right side.”

Smart bugger. I broke my foot a few years back and balance on my right side isn’t that great.

I was thinking about switching to the male trainer, but then I realized, even if I don’t like her she is motivating me.

The other day she challenged me to a sit-up competition and I won.
“Boy, you’re really good at this, I quit,” she said.

Now, I know it’s only a computer and she let me win just to build my confidence, but it did build my confidence and I want to beat her again.

That means more sit-ups. Tricky huh?

If the trainer, or unlocking new challenges isn’t enough motivation there is always family.

The game tracks what exercises, weight, time and progress other players are making and charts everyone together.

Also, when you finish an exercise you are placed by how well you did. Being in first place, or having the highest score is a never-ending battle in my family and that means more exercise.

My sister-in-law has the game too. Our conversations have taken a strange turn.

“I did Hoola-Hoop the other day, whew,” I’ll say.

“That’s nothing! she said. Wait until you unlock Super Hoola-Hoop it’s killer.”

So too the conversations with my brother.

“How old are you now? Have you gotten any younger?”

Your “fit age” goes down as you progress.

I knew I should have never told him.

The funny thing though is we’re talking about exercise and participating in exercise and hoping another game will come out so we can do even more exercise.

It’s a revolution.

I think by the end of the summer I might reach my goal and become an overweight 30-something.