Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

Today I woke up in the wee hours of the morning, ready to exercise.

I wasn’t tired when I got up; it wasn’t a struggle and I didn’t even wait for the alarm.

After I started moving, though, something happened. Laziness took over.

I made my coffee and sat on the couch and looked at the wall – for two hours.

That’s weird, because it’s usually only at work that I’m able to go into a vegetative state of prolonged non-productivity, but I’m full of surprises.

After an hour of staring I got up, put on my sneakers and exercise clothes, then I sat back down and stared at the wall some more.

Staring at a blank wall is really underrated. I feel like I could do it again for a few hours right now.

While I sat there though, I swear I could feel my stomach growing larger. Still I didn’t move.

I imagined my fat cells laughing at me, growing, bathing themselves luxuriously in my fatty acids.

For motivation I pictured myself doing squats, push-ups and bends. I imagined how strong I would feel after I exercised, the way I would examine my love handles for shrinkage.

Yes, I’m going to get up. I’m going to do it, I thought, but still I sat there.

Laziness is paralytic.

I thought about the dreams I’d had while I slept – one about a cute boy I went to high school with and adored.
In the dream I was thin and we were dating. We both had a lot of fun with my thin bod.

I knew I should get up and pop an exercise video in the TV.

Instead I did some laundry. I made more coffee. I ate breakfast. I tweezed my eyebrows.

Since I’ve began exercising my eyebrows are getting precariously thinner.

I lamented how by now the morning news shows were over so I no longer wanted to walk on the treadmill.

I thought about the benefits of various exercise programs.

I thought about all the people in the world that were probably exercising as I sat there staring. It made me tired.

I don’t know where the time went, but before I knew it I had to start getting ready for work.

Disappointed and ashamed, I promised myself I wouldn't tell anyone about my two-hour, wall-staring episode.

I took off my sneakers and other workout gear and placed them in a prominent spot for the next day.

I will do better tomorrow.

As Scarlett said, “Tomorrow is another day.”