Diets really suck and deep fried chocolate is heaven on Earth.
I’ve been on my useless diet for a while now – a least a week, right?
I’ve been working so hard for ages and ages and nothing has happened.
I haven’t lost a pound yet.I can’t say I feel good. All I think about is what I can’t eat, but want to eat.
Before this adventure I just thought of the tastiest food I could come up with, found it and ate it.
It’s just too complicated now.
Who in their right mind wants to meticulously regulate every crumb they put in their mouth? And I mean crumbs, since “portion size” is tossed around in the diet world like salads at fat camp.
Yesterday I ate a chocolate coconut haystack. I even licked my fingers afterward.
I thought for like 1/10th of a second that I shouldn’t and then said “to hell with it” this stupid diet isn’t working anyway. The split second it took me to eat that haystack was the best second of my week.
Patience is a virtue that I do not have.
It’s no wonder so many diets fail and fads, pills and liquids and Godknowswhat other diet tactics are so popular.
The whole “eat less junk and exercise more” scam is a racket. I bet a bunch of skinny people own the diet and exercise companies and they’re reaping millions off of the phat backs of people like me.
Yeah, I’m bitter. Fat and sugar makes me sweeter, but that isn’t going to happen. Whatever. I’m forging ahead. Phatness is not my destiny. More exercise is. (Grunt, sigh, cry.)
3 comments:
I'm eating a cupcake from the vending machine, and I thought of you. Stay strong, sistah!
Oh Andrea, vending machine cupcakes are hardly even worth the calories they contain! But, when desperate for sweet fat we must do what we have to do. I envy you.
Normally, I would agree, but the ones in there now are delicious. They have that soft, just baked texture. And I'm never eating one of them again!
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