Commitment smothers me. Change scares me. I don't like conformity.
The main points of a diet are change, commitment and conformity.
I don’t want to be changed, I want to be accepted.
I want to be loved for me – albeit a skinnier version of me.
When dieting, very little is acceptable. You can’t have this, you can’t have that, you shouldn’t go there. That nagging at the back of my mind makes me nuts.
It makes me feel like I’m living with a control freak more strong willed than my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Murdock. That woman had to have everything her way.
I’m ashamed to admit my indiscretions, but I was caught up in the moment, what can be expected from a person when heaven is flaunting itself?
You know you want me, don’t worry about it, live a little, you can’t deprive yourself or you’ll just explode later, look at how good I look, you deserve it, eat me, eat me.If I admit that I cheated, does that mean the diet is over? Did I blow it?
I feel really guilty today and wish I could take back those four chocolate-covered coconut macaroons and two pieces of cake, but I can’t. As Ernie Harwell would have said – they’re “Long Gone.”
The extra piece of cake was supposed to be my dirty little secret, but that defeats the point of this blog and I don’t need to hide any more of my self-defeating behavior than necessary.
I’m trying to make extra pieces of chocolate cake fade into my past, but I’m starting to think cake may be my one and only true love. What’s a girl to do?
I can’t, however, let my slip ruin everything, I’m too invested, I’m putting this mistake in my past and I’m moving forward.
I’ve confessed. I did it - I cheated. I hope you don’t hate me for it and I promise it won’t happen again … or, at least not until my birthday, but I swear, it means nothing.
No comments:
Post a Comment